A half-assed response for Erica:

I meant to respond to your email, I really did. Unfortunately for you, I read it while taking a brief study break so I didn't really have the time to formulate any lengthy response. Sorry.

I was just going to defend hippies a little. As you know, my sister is one of the biggest and dirtiest (metaphorically) hippies on this planet, but she's not crazy. Well...she's not crazy about biology. She DOES wear sandals in the winter, which is crazy, but mostly, she and her big dirty hippie friends are mentally sound. My point is that one can be a hippy and not hate science. Of course, you know this.

I think you're getting all worked up over nothing. The majority of Bob Marley-lovin', Birkenstock-wearin', organic foods-eatin' hippies don't give a shit about what you biology people do in your labs as long as it doesn't infringe upon their ability to tie-dye their t-shirts and and smoke some high quality nugs. Let's face it...as a group, hippies are lazy as hell. (At least, the hippies I know are lazy as hell.) Hating biology takes effort, and most hippies just don't have the energy for many things beoyond making hemp necklaces and protesting for the legalization of marijuana. The few hippies who have gone on a crusade against biology are not going to affect your life. Really. :)

Hey Lisa, would you totally dig it if I made a little insect/arthropod collection for you so you can show it to your children once you get a permanent teaching position? We were talking about making a bunch for the local schools and I thought you might like one.

How does one write a research proposal? I mean, I sort of know. But this is a proposal for my Master's Thesis. That's huge. My advisor was like "Here are papers to read. Now go write shit." Obviously he didn't say it in those words, but those were basically my instructions. At least I know what project I'm doing. One of the other new grad students doesn't even have an idea for a thesis yet, I think. Damn.

Brought to you by cranberryzero.


I thought that those of us who menstruate might be amused.

My figure skating insructor: "Don't those bracelets have dirty meanings behind them?"
Me: "You know...I've heard that, but I've been wearing these things for six years. That's a long time before that got started."
Skating instructor: "Well, I heard it on the news."

So what? Because she heard some nonesense the news, I'm giving blow jobs to every horny 16-year-old who can steal my bracelets? Ummmm...no.

Oh yeah... I'm taking skating again. It's kicking my ass. Not participating in a sport for seven years and then suddenly becoming an athelete again doesn't go over so well with the muscles.

Nathan N*ze and John H*nry have discovered an error in Molly McGrath's official Miss America bio. Miss Wisconsin is claiming that she was the valedictorian of Lincoln High School's graduating class of 2000. There are several problems with this claim:

1. As we all recall, LHS doesn't bestow the "valedictorian" title upon anyone. Yes, anyone with a 4.0 GPA (or higher) gets to deliver a line or two of the commencement speech, but being invited to speak does not make one a valedictorian.

2. John and Nathan graduated with the number one and two ranks in the LHS class of 2000, respectively, meaning that even if LHS did name a valedictorian, it would not have been Molly; it would have been John H*nry, with Nathan as salutatorian and Molly with no title whatsoever.

Therefore, Nathan and John have taken it upon themselves - as they should - to correct the error. They wrote a lovely and informative letter, which was faxed to the Miss America headquarters and Madison's local newspapers this morning. I've been told that the boys are currently debating whether or not to send it to the Daily Tribune as well, as Molly is representing the Madison area and not the Wisconsin Rapids area. (Wasn't she Miss Wisconsin Rapids once, though? Or am I on smack?)

* * *

I've always wondered why all of the Miss America girls look so plastic. I wondered if they'd always looked that way, or it was something that just happened to them. I think this has taken away the mystery. I wouldn't have recognized that person as someone I went to high school with. (Jillian's reaction to the photo was, "That's not Molly! That's a 40 year old weather lady! Send it to Andy!!!")

So...here's my burning, Miss-America-related question: Why didn't big hair ever go out of style on the pageant circuit? And this is Nathan's question: What is the name of the song they sing for the winner? Any assistance that any of you could provide in these matter would be greatly appreciated.

OH YEAH! I got 100% on my biochem quiz! Maybe I'm not a monumental failure at chemistry after all.

Funny thing. I went out for pizza after my class today. The girls I was with were both from California. As we were walking through a parking lot, they were mystified by the fact that the cars all had plugs hanging out of them.

Leslie: "Why do all these cars have plugs?"
Me: "Because it gets COLD up here."
Erica: "So?"
Me: "So...you have to plug your car in so it'll start in the morning."
Erica: "Is that why it took a couple tries to get my car started today? Am I supposed to be plugging it in at night?"

Funny. The low temperature last night was 36. No. The car doesn't need to be plugged in yet. :) But how do I explain this to people? I don't know anything about cars, so it's not like I can explain the mechanics to them. I just know that when it's below zero, my dad plugs in the car... Anyway, I love that these girls didn't even know that cars COULD be plugged in. :)

Lisa, it occured to me today in my Access Systems and Archives course that you have a large group of young minds that may not know about archives. Along with a bug lecture from Erica, I was wondering if your interested in having your students learn about archives and things. Maybe they are too young, but I know that I did not learn what archives even were until late high school (and mentioned this in class and become the poster child for a youth that did not learn about archives). Kids already learn about libraries and things but archives are scary to them.

I think its largly psychological really. Librarians have always been more social people whereas archivists tend to want to be left alone. Most people that want to spend their time with must old documents are also anti-social. Because of that, archivists are bad at doing outreach. So, Lisa, even if *I* don't do anything with the kids in your school, I am encouraging you to bring the idea of introducing students to archives (not just museums) up at some kind of meeting at your school in the future. I'm not sure how much sense I am making right now, but let me know your thoughts.

I think I totally rocked my biochemistry quiz today and I feel like I should get 100% on it. Not that I will, however. All we had to do was draw the correct ionization of an oligopeptide at pH 6.0, and it was only 4 amino acid residues in length. It was so easy and I'm confident about my answer, but that means nothing. This class plays serious mind games with me. I feel like I understand things but then it turns out that I don't and I'm actually completely fucked. The first test is next Wednesday, so we'll see how that goes. That will be the true measure of how badly I'm being fucked up the asspipe.

Today I took some pictures of my classroom with my phone - if you want to see them go here. There's only 1 with kids in the room, but trust me after today the best time to be in the room was when the kids were out of it!

I also took a picture of my Star of the Week bulletin board that I made just to show you guys are on it :) Right above the Mrs. Graf name tag! Well, not all of us, but the girlz except Erica - it was from your wedding. I also have the one from high school when we were in my back yard on the trampolene - the black and white one - but it's lost in the glare of the picture!

Today was one of those days that made me wonder if I really wanted to be a teacher. Sometimes kids can be tough and this super hot weather doesn't help matters at all! I decided tonight I'm just going to relax cuz if I don't, I think tomorrow I'll go insane if I see one more kid pick their nose and eat their snot or one more pile of barf or deal with unmotivated kids or kids that you just want to take home because things are so bad for them. Today was overwhelmingly terrible - no one listened or behaved in general and I guess the only consoloation to the whole matter is that they didn't listen to my cooperating teacher, either; so it wasn't just me!

Everyone from the Greater Wisconsin Rapids Metro Area: Click here, and look at slide 20. Read the caption.

It's not every day that Kellner, Rudolph, and the Daily Tribune get national attention, all in one photo.


(Thanks to J. Andrew Brabender IV for bringing this to my attention.)

GIRLZ! I have some huge gossip regarding my life and am bursting with the need to talk about it at length! IM me!

Erica - I thought of you as I drove home from school today! I was behind this Wil-Kill Pest Control truck and the license plate read I H8 BUGS. I tried taking this picture with my cell phone, but it's not the greatest! I thought you'd get a kick out of it - even though you are all about bugs!
You would love my students! After EVERY recess it never fails that I get a few grasshoppers or moths or ants or any other kind of bug they find outside! Finally, I told them that those bugs live outside and when you bring them in they don't have what they need to live so we should leave the bugs outside :)

You should all play City of Heroes because it rocks. It's a massively multiplayer online role playing game where you get to be a super hero and fight crime. If any of you already play let me know and we can team up. Also the World of Warcraft MMORPG comes out soon, which creates a problem because I don't really have time to play video games anymore. Speaking of time, it's time to learn shit.

I couldn't remember if Lisa's birthday was the 10th or the 11th. I'm an asshole. Anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY LISA!

In other news, we had the first seminar of the semester yesterday afternoon. We got coffee and cookies and sat in a small room for an hour listening to a guy from the MU IPM extention. MU is the University of Missouri and IPM is integrated pest management. People who work in IPM are basically trying to find ways to not use pesticides as much and then trying to get people to use those alternate methods. It was actually a fairly interesting presentation.

Merry Patriot Day, everyone! And far more importantly, HAPPY BIRTHDAY LISA!!!

I just realized, right at this moment, that we both have patriotic, America-friendly, flag-totin' birthdays. It's weird, though, because mine has ALWAYS been that way and yours...hasn't. How does it feel to suddenly be overshadowed by the Stars & Stripes? (The best part about having a birthday like July 4 or September 11 is that people are REQUIRED to remember it. They're assholes if they don't.)

In any case...I win. I get fireworks. :)

I've sort of been adopted by a group of guys...but not by choice. I go to the cafeteria every day, and every day I sit at a table by myself and read a book while I eat. And almost every day, these same guys show up about half way through my meal and basically force me into joining them at their table. Their names are Jon, John, Geoff, and Jeff. (Confusing, I know. Even more confusing: Jon and Geoff are roommates, and so are John and Jeff. John and Jeff live directly below me, and Jon and Geoff live next door. Oh...and Jon is the AIDS comment guy of several posts ago.)

TI feel as though I knew these guys, once upon a time and long, long ago. It's an odd, creepy feeling...because being with them is often like listening to offensive Steve Z*nder-Dan Austin conversations, crossed with quick, witty John Henry-Nathan Thomas banter. (It doesn't help that John - the Alaskan John - could be Nathan Thomas's blond, better-dressed twin. They have the same jaw, the same mouths, the same teeth, the same build, the same height, similar facial expressions...it's unsettling.) Whenever I eat with these guys, it's as though I've been transported back to the high school lunch table, but in an alternate universe.

They can't understand why I'm not traumatized by their conversations; yesterday, I got the impression that they were trying especially hard to offend me. Sorry, boys, but Staniel ruined me. I am non-shockable when it comes to verbal commentary. This group hasn't come close to topping Steve's fictional and graphic account of losing his virginity at the age of six to the elementary school janitor. (That particular monologue included a vivid description of the old janitor's wrinkly, bloody dick. I mean...it would take a lot to top that one.) (Urs, do you remember that one? ACTUALLY...now that I think about it, Steve WROTE that story in the paper-version of 17 Bottles Of during the orchestra trip to Chicago.)

Anyway...I just needed to share that with you kids. Every night at dinner I feel as though I've already lived through several alternate versions of that particular meal. Like I said - these boys have both Steve and Dan's vulgarity and John and Nathan's perfect timing and lack of hesitation - and Steve, Dan, John, and Nathan's ability to keep a straight face. It's...weird. It creeps me out.

Is the world really so small and uninteresting that it has to start recycling my past experiences already? I'm only 23 for fuck's sake! Shouldn't a lot more happen to me before it all starts to look the same?

This is why I love Fark. John Henry tried to make me love Fark a long, long time ago but, of course, I resisted it back then simply because he was trying to force it on me (along with Magic cards and anime, which I still desipse). I've since seen the light. Apologies, Mr. Henry.

Anyway. This was part of a photoshop contest with the theme Photoshop a t-shirt that's a sure-fire way to get onto "The Price Is Right". This was the winning entry.

I thought you kids might enjoy a few laughs.

I overheard something rather amazing today. I was leaving the cafeteria to go back to my dorm, and I had to walk through the lobby area. Students promoting various orgainzations and causes (i.e., soliciting new members) had set up a bunch of tables in the lobby, one of which was apparently devoted to an AIDS-fighting association. So. I was walking behind some guy, and he was walking past the AIDS table.

Girl at AIDS table: "Would you like to join me and Bono in the fight against AIDS?"

Guy: "I think it's wrong to kill people who have AIDS."

Girl: "Not that kind of fighting. I mean, fighting the disease, preventing it, stuff like that."

Guy: "Don't worry - I'll wear a condom when I screw your sister." And then he walked away, leaving the girl looking as though someone had clobbered her with a two-by-four. I was probably smiling.

So, props to that guy for being able to think so quickly. I wish I was that clever (perhaps not in such a sick way). Cleverness would come in handy, being a writer and all. Instead of coming up with my own repartee, I have to steal other people's lines.

So it goes, I guess. So it goes.
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(See? That was me stealing Vonnegut...)

I AM SO PISSED! I JUST WROTE A WHOLE FLIPPIN ENTRY AND I HIT PUBLISH AND I GOT ONE OF THOSE CANNOT FIND PAGE ERRORS! WHAT A PILE OF CRAP!

Anyways, the whole gist of it was that I am loving student teaching and I have a great class! Very original names though - Louden, Celinh'a, Axel, and tons I'm forgetting right now. Our classroom won First Puke of the Year award from the janitors! Within a half hour of class a kid puked. Apparently, he's super shy and has had problems before. I am so glad I have a bad cold already and cannot smell as I'm sure I'd have started barfing along with him! My cooperating teacher sent me to get the nurse, so that was nice of her! She was pissed cuz we only have 2 small spots in the room that have carpeting and he managed to plaster the reading rug :) The stain is right in front of the teacher chair, too! Great!

Becca stopped by last night! She was in Greece for the Olympics and decided to extend her ticket the max 30 days and hang out in Ripon for awhile! Guess who is having a kid?! Remember Erica Bach & Tyler Skorczewski? I totally butchered his name - he graduated in 00 and Erica in 99. Tyler went to Ripon for a year and he is good friends with Becca. Anyways, Erica & Tyler are having a baby around Christmas time!! Surprise Surprise!

Does anyone know of a web site or some resource I could use to teach myself Spannish? I wish I would have taken it in high school - German has been useless here! I have a few migrant kids in my class who do not speak English and neither do their parents, so a little Spannish would be helpful! Hope everyone is having has started off to a great year! Miss you all! :)